There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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