apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
