i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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