I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
