Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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