wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
