a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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