your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
