how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
