Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
