you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
