every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
