i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize