I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize