Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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