Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
