The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
