I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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