I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I forget how to act sober
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
