Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
