have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
