the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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