I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
