god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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