What did we do last night that was yellow?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
