I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
