i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize