Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
