So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
