I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
