As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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