Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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