I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
