im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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