You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
