You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
