The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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