you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
