lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
