i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My penis needs a shock collar
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
