i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
