She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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