i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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