How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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