he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
