Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
