I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize