In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
