Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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