How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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