Umm I'm too high to move.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
