just tell him i said nine months
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
