Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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