I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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