I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
