So drunk its hurt
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
