Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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