I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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