At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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