Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
