I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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