porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
