I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
